For the past 9 years I have watched parental alienation slowly take place with my husband and his two children being the victims. At first it was difficult to understand, because divorce was not common in our family. I had friends that divorced, but they were mutually friendly in front of the children.
We met and fell in love about 9 years ago and he had suffer a great deal of loss' including the break up of his marriage and having to relocate to Midwest to stay with family because his soon to be ex had bought him a plane ticket back home from the upper west coast. I could not imagine saying goodbye to my children like he had to.he was frail and very depressed his health was not good at all, and he had just loss his mother and brother and dad all within about a 7 month period. all with the same heart disease he has.
At first he would call his children a few times a week and they would visit for a while, at that time his children were 9 and 4. being that his health was not allowing him to hold down a full time job, he couldn't send much for gifts or things, so I would help out. We had applied for disability but that is a long process so we were waiting it out. We would send the children little tokens of things from Midwest or movies so forth. We found out since we had to send everything to his ex's work because she didn't want packages delivered to her home. we find that the children never received their gifts, or gift cards. hmmmm, slowly the eldest child was growing into a teen, and had several issues from the break up of the family so she was seeing a therapist, and had grown to disrespect her dad a great deal. Saying he abandoned them, and didn't care for them we could over hear his ex in the back ground telling them what to say that was hateful. This continued for about two years then his ex found out we had gotten married. OMG things blew then of course we had already told the children we were getting married. She had already gotten married, and within six months of her marriage she was separated. (they reconciled when she blew a gasket when we got married), he was approved for disability finally! and we find out he should modify child support because between what his month support was for children and what he was behind on left him nothing to use towards meds or anything. Another gasket was blown! she hit the roof, we found out she was getting most of his disability check and drawing off of social security for the kids. nearly $1000 a month and she bragged, but modification went through and he has to pay nothing but the back pay and she draws off his social security until kids are 18 or 21.
She took us to court several times, finally asking that he not contact children anymore cause they feared for their lives. (which judge didn't get were she was going with that being that there were never any threats or anything) She claimed that has put them all in therapy because they have nightmares and fears he will show up to take them. which is BS. Although my husband did send his ex text messages out of anger but he never threaten her. just calling her out on her BS. its is difficult fighting a case when you live in Midwest state and they live on the coastal state, but luckily the court allow phone hearings, and mediation. which got us no where, she stuck to her guns and my husband finally agreed to no contact until they are 18 which one will be 18 tomorrow. He wanted the children to have peace of mind. He had very little influence on them since they were never with him. She slowly cut off phone and email contact, prior to the hearings. had the eldest child well informed on her side of the whole mess. which is sad. they have moved at least 6 times in 9 years, at one time we had someone calling us looking for his ex that it was urgent we didn't know what was going on we were concerned for the children.
Since we have been cut off from any sort contact we had discovered several disturbing tweets from his eldest child, and we became very concerned about the whole mess. I guess I got a little to brave and emailed her husband and explained how worried, and his ex wife who he is still friends, then I wrote my husbands ex and introduced myself.
Well we ended back up in court, she felt we were threating her so I was now included in the no contact and she and her family were included in it. Weird thing is she (ex wife) is close friends with her ex husbands aunt (who she never met) and his stepdad and his children (who she never met) and her ex husbands now ex best friend. Why is it ok for her to contact her ex husbands family and friends and tell all kinds of stories to them and have them spy on us but we can not know anything about them? Do we care? NO We just want those poor innocent children to be safe and well.
I keep those children in my prayers that they are not totally ruined.
Stay tuned.....
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