now that I am 55 years old, I reflect back to comments people have made to me or about me over the years, and realize even though they may have been hurtful at the time, its made me a stronger person in some ways, in others I just don't care.
Back in high school, I was very shy, was not to involved in high school, I had friends outside of high school; mainly from church or my part time job.
Being from a large family we did a great deal together or I was expected to watch my younger siblings.
being very shy though, when I had to do something in front of class or in front of a group or as a group setting, I would get so much anxiety, lack of self confidence I guess not sure.
As I came into my senior year, I had enough credits so I chose not to attend high school and work full time as a morning prep manager at a fast food restaurant, I did not participate in school activities as much because I was making more friends outside of school, and enjoying making big money! LOL
Oh how I would do the opposite now. But it was all a learning experience.
I have always been heavy, never real athletic not good at much physically People made comments on how "big" I began starving myself during late teens early twenties, acne was pretty bad at times (or at least I felt it was, which probably didn't help my self esteem much)
As I have gotten older I have learned to stay away from people who are clearly hung up on how they look, physically, and financially, because that is all they truly care about is how people see them.
Being a single parent, people of the 1980's talked behind my back, and it did not help much having a child that was half Samoan, but I strived to make sure my son had as good a life as I could give him, and always cut people short when they would make a comment about my child. He grew up to be a very strong man.
Now being in mid 50's I am heavy, I am married my husband thinks I am beautiful, I have Platinum gray hair, I am a granny to two fantastic grandchildren, I have worked at the same employer for over 28 years, I have owned a home, owned cars, I have traveled, I have learned to stand up for myself and protect those I love and care for, ignore people who like to belittle others, limit stress in my life, although I have distant old friends, they have went on with their lives, and we keep in contact somewhat, but life moves on. They know they are always welcome in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment