Another Evening of Dad Sitting

I spent another Tuesday evening sitting with my dad who has dementia. I can see his decline each week.
It amazes me how busy he is now, its like watching a toddler discover things, last night he was trying to take some coats "down stairs" (there is not a downstairs) folding and unfolding shirts. visiting with his imaginary people laughing and mumbling.
It is so difficult seeing him like this.
dad use to be very laid back and relaxed now he is busy but gets nothing done.
He has an appointment with another doctor the middle of September, not real sure what will come of this visit but we must try what we can to hold onto what we got.
Mom is having her surgery on her shoulder replacement next week.
Dementia is such a horrible disease I would rank it right up there with cancer, for what we have seen happen to our strong, intelligent daddy has been very difficult for all of us, he has become a shell of the man he was, you get little glimpses of the real dad once in a while but briefly ,he still knows us, that I count my blessings for.
For those who have dealt or are dealing with a loved one with dementia I can relate, each of us has our own stories, sometimes you just have to laugh at what they are doing, its either that or cry and that time will come.
It just helps me to write about it. 

Where do you want to go?

ok I got to ask, have you ever had this on going irritating ritual you and your significant other go through to choose a place to eat?
him:"Where do you want to go tonight?"
Me: :"I don't care"
him: "What are you hungry for?"


Me: "nothing particular, I am easy to please, what do you want?"


Him: "I don't care"


This goes on for several minutes every time we go out, and we get agitated at each other, Why?
I say go a head and choose, I will be fine with it, and he says we can just stay home then... LOL
Lets just get pizza or something, great I am fine with that!


Does this happen with you?

Dad sitting

last night was my evening to "dad sit" while mom ran some errands.
Dad is soon to be 78 and suffers for dementia, he is slipping away quickly. It is so sad, he was such a rock, and intelligent now he mumbles a great deal, sees things, talks about very strange things.
I sure to miss my daddy, I pray for him every day that he is not suffering and that he goes peacefully when its his time.
My daddy could repair anything, was very intelligent, he was a great daddy, he worked hard all of his life, now he sits and naps and sees people and things.
He is not recognizing numbers any more nor able to remember how to get around through house.
I am trying to prepare myself for him no longer being around. I can not imagine.


He is a good Christian and he still goes to church.


Love you Daddy

Curvy for years

I want to address curvy women to which I am one.
God bless the young man who expressed how much he loves his curvy wife. I am thankful for the husband I have who loves women with curves, my husband loves me, and excepts me, I don't have to try to be a model I can be myself, I am thankful for that. Its so much easier to feel confident in myself knowing he loves me and likes to look at me. I wished there were more men in this world that were like that. I know when we were younger we all wanted to be perfect size and shape, Oh I remember the Calvin Klein jeans, I wanted a pair so badly but of course I was just a wee bit to large for them, I starved myself and ate like a rabbit and I accomplished my goal. I loved those jeans, I was so proud of myself. looking back now though it was not healthy doing what I did. I wouldn't recommend it. but it made me feel good and felt like I fit in with the small girls. I have never been a small girl nor will I ever be. I feel I am average. Going to the doctor and you are never ideal weight they always have something to say about weight. I am active and I don't have tons of health issues being 55 years old I feel I am pretty healthy.
I was raised in a large family, and mom was a fairly good cook, we all ate together each evening growing up. 5:05 sharp.
of course we had potatoes and gravy, veggie of moms choice, and some sort of beef or chicken or pork. usually fried. on occasions we had sandwiches, and chips. We rarely had soda, mainly tea or Kool-Aid.
but the one thing we did not have was cable, or internet, we played outside in the summer no matter how hot it got, we drank out of the hose, we went swimming, we rode bicycles, played tag, hide n seek, roller-skating and so much more, but when street lights came on you had to be back in your yard.
So life is good for this curvy girl, I admit there were a few times in my life I was huge, unhealthy but I lost those pounds and each time I did something wonderful happened I regained self confidence.

HOLOPROSENCEPHALY (HPE)

My granddaughter Ivy is a little over two years old, she was born with Holoprosencephaly (HPE) the failure of the brain to divide completely into two hemispheres.
Ivy has and exceptional brain. she has lobar HPE which means the front of her brain is connected.
she also has ACC she is missing her corpus calosum (white matter) her brain does not communicate with the other areas. It hinders her motor development.


She is our miracle she is remarkable. Such a loving caring little sweet pea.


She is so lucky to have parents who are teachers, and have patience and work with her along with children's mercy hospital, and of course she has a big brother Isaac who loves her and plays with her.


I am so thankful each day that I have the people in my life that are so loving and caring, and who have blessed me In so many ways.

proud mom

Feeling refreshed today, after so many uncertain months of ups and downs maybe life will just be a more normal mode for now.


Had a nice visit with my parents last evening, mom actually cooked a full meal, it was good to see them well rested and she was some what pleasant.


Dads mood was good, he was not having any hallucinations he was enjoy conversation, and said he had sat on the front porch some, watching traffic.


I am glad my parents are closer to all of us now, but mom still does things that irritate me enormously. without seeing a shrink, I would say my hang ups with my mom are normal, we will never be close because she don't allow it with anyone, of course she blames everything on her mother like I blame on her.


the one thing I feel I did better with  raising my son with love. he is my pride and joy. Great young man, with a beautiful family.
my son is outgoing, loves to perform in local musicals, he is a elementary teacher, a Christian and he a good husband and father. Oh yes he is handsome too! I am a proud granny to two gorgeous grand children!


Yes I am proud of him cause I was a single parent, his father was my first true love, We did not plan on getting pregnant but it happened, somewhere along the line after a year and half together, he asked me to marry him, and move to Samoa with him, I couldn't do that I was 7 month pregnant and 23 years old.
Unfortunately he left without me, we kept in touch for a short while, but after a while nothing.   I was so heartbroken. depressed. And pregnant


I gave very natural birth to a fantastic big boy! My dad sent a wire message to sons father in Samoa to let him know, his Aunty came to visit me in hospital and said if I didn't want to keep him she would adopt him, but I raised him with the help  of my family. I bought a house and did our thing.
My son has only met with his father twice, his father is now married and has three  grown children with his wife, in Colorado. I have no ill feelings towards him, a part of me will always love him, for if he hadn't given me this child I wouldn't have had the joys and trials I have had. Sure it would have been easier having child support and having his father in his life, but that is not what was in the cards for us. His father will have to deal with the loss of knowing this wonderful young man.